Spurs Monopolise 'Almost' Signings (By Dubbed The New Wenger)

Firstly I DO NOT want to take credit for an Article that is NOT mine! But this is a very amusing Article posted on 606 and I feel people have a right to read it if they want to.

This article was written by Dubbed The New Wenger (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/U10596586).

Enjoy...

Spurs have made an audacious triple swoop to strengthen their team by almost signing Robinho, Baptista and Sergio Ramos.

Boss Juande Ramos is reported to have said
"I think this will prove to everyone how ambitious we are and that we are the top club in Europe. This continues the good progress from when we almost signed Nani and Anderson last year and only last week we almost signed Robinho, Baptista and Sergio Ramos. If any of the top players in the world become available we can guarantee that we will almost sign them."

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson was rumoured to have said
"I just don't know how we can compete with Spurs. We signed Rio Ferdinand and straight away Spurs responded by almost signing Robinho, Baptista and Sergio Ramos."

Arsene Wenger stated
"Spurs are ruining the game with their monopoly on almost signing people. The rest of us just don't stand a chance. I would have loved to have almost signed these 3 players but we are just not in a position to compete."

Spanish giants Real Madrid commented that they were very worried that Spurs would start to unsettle some of their stars with the possibility of nearly signing for Spurs being hard to turn down.

Chairman Daniel Levy explained "This is the beginning of another golden era in the fortunes of Tottenham Hotspurs football club, we have made extensive funds available to the manager and have told him that that he can nearly sign any player he wishes".